I Offended Someone Yesterday

I unintentionally offended someone yesterday afternoon and I've really been beating myself up over it. She's a woman I regard very highly, and I was mortified at the outcome caused by my words. I sent her a heartfelt apology, but it was the end of her workday and I don't know if she received it before she went home. In my mind I was thinking, I hope she doesn't stress over this all night. I hope she can shake this off and have a peaceful evening.

We all have enough stress as it is, no one needs to be burdened by an unintentional offense. I was planning in my head that I should bring her flowers and a handwritten note of apology first thing in the morning.

Yesterday was Day 130 of my 365 Day Handstand Challenge, so after all of this happened I went to do my handstand practice and I *could**not* *balance*. I just couldn't.

So I started thinking about what was wrong with my handstands. Was I being too strong in my legs? Was I being too rigid in my shoulders? I felt like my core muscles weren't engaging like they usually do. I started thinking that it's a good thing I have an appointment with my awesome chiropractor tomorrow. She has an amazing way of making my body function better.

I started thinking that I have control only over my own body. I don't have control over the weather or the wind. I only have control over how I set my hands down, how strongly I kick up, and how I engage my shoulders and core.

And then I realized that in the bigger picture, I have control only over me. If this woman is mad or offended over my comments, I really don't have any control over that. My words were misconstrued and they caused offense. I did my best to send her a very sincere apology. And after that I just have to let go because it's not me anymore, it's her.

I'm usually not big on mantras, but I found "I only have control over me" repeating in my mind. And I was surprised that each handstand became a little stronger. And even in this pretty strong wind before a great rainstorm, I was able to maintain my balance.

This is a new lesson for me, so I'd love to have the benefit of your experience if you're willing to share. Please post a comment below about your experience with knowing that you only have control over you. I bet your stories will help this lesson sink in for me, and probably for others too.

XO, Zelinda

Life Lessons Learned While Handstanding

It's really incredible the life lessons we learn on our mats. But the thing is, we have to actually practice, earnestly, and consistently, to even begin to observe the lessons we learn on our mats and understand how those lessons can translate into valuable lessons for our real lives. I've been going through some big personal stuff over the last few months and, surprisingly, my 365 day handstand challenge has been providing me some powerful lessons. I was chatting with a yoga teacher friend about this the other day and she said, "My practice is my best teacher. I just have to remember to listen."

We all go through personal struggles at some point, and I want you to know that yoga is a great tool for working through your stuff. Just like you might see a psychologist, or a massage therapist, or an acupuncturist, to help manage your stress and sort out your issues, a consistent yoga practice can also be a useful tool in your body, mind, and spirit self-care.

One morning last week I was doing my handstanding practice and I noticed that in the moment right before I fall, there's a split-second pause, a moment in which I make a choice.

I can choose to panic, in which case I'll certainly fall.

Or I can choose to pause, be patient, not panic, and gently engage the muscles in my hands, and then there are two possible outcomes - I might still fall, or I might actually be able to hold on and balance a while longer.

Even in that split second right before I fall, there is time and space to make a conscious choice.

And I realized that it's the same thing when dealing with big issues in life.

In a moment or period of stress, a knee jerk reaction will probably cause some kind of a big mess, but if you take a second or a minute or an hour or a day or even a week, to create some space, you can move forward in a way that allows you to maintain your peace.

XO, Zelinda

P.S. Be sure to check out our new Fall Class Schedule. We've got 45 opportunities per week for you to join us on your mat. And if none of those 45 opportunities works for your schedule or needs, give us a call to talk about Private Lessons. :)